I’ve had some readers ask me this question and I think it’s a good one to start thinking about before the start of the New Year. Resolutions will be made. Gym memberships will be purchased. The season is ripe with possibilities and you should ride that wave to help design the ass of your dreams.
Screen
Like with most things with girls, the first step is to screen. If you’re into gothy girls who wear thick glasses and read poetry it’s going to be a hell of an uphill battle to get her to join a boot camp class. Screen for athletic girls. Girls with a prior athletic history are obviously the best candidates for getting them into lifting. They already know how to push themselves and the ones that did any type of high level of athletics usually crave that old feeling of exhaustion and exertion that comes with a good workout.
Ugly ducklings or girls that have recently lost weight are also easier to steer towards a healthy, active lifestyle. That being said, don’t think this means you get off easy without having to put some work in.
Lead by Example
You need to set a good example. It’s that simple. You can’t expect your girl to follow a damn thing if you’re not willing to do the same yourself. In fact it’s probably the easiest, most straight forward and successful approach you can take. If you plant the idea in her mind by living the lifestyle yourself it’ll be her idea. If it’s her idea, then of course it’s a good idea so it basically takes care of itself.
Do you look like this yet? If not, get your ass in gear and lead by example.
If you’re not already working out, barring any type of physical condition, you really don’t have any excuse not to be lifting weights or at least playing sports and staying active. It doesn’t take more than two hours a week. You still get to drink. The workouts are simple and straight forward. And it’s easy to get started. Look you don’t want to be “that guy”, so get off your ass and get started.
Not only is it for your own good, but as you educate and improve yourself you’ll be able to guide your girl so she can train safely. Encourage her to do her own research but make sure you point her in the right direction. Most mainstream advice is crap. She’ll hate it. Neither of you will be happy with the results, and to be honest I think real lifting is a lot more fun. My number one recommendation (no affiliation) is hands down Bret Contreras. He’s literally known as “the Glute Guy”. Bret has trained countless figure and bikini competitors and fitness models. This guy knows his stuff.
Which brings me to my next point…
How to Deal with Her Objections
Former Miss America Mallory Hagan did heavy dead lifts and squats to prepare for this pageant. Look how gross and jacked and muscle-y she is.
Many girls, if they’re not already familiar with the weight room worry that they’ll “bulk up” over night. A lot of girls fear they’ll turn into the Incredible Hulk after a week in the gym – if only it were that easy. Luckily you can show them that’s just not true. If your girl still thinks that’s way too jacked remind her that for many of those women, it’s their career or they are at least at the semi-professional level. It’s their life. Most women without a major hormonal imbalance will find it nearly impossible to build a large amount of muscle mass. Lucky for them, all they have to do is a be a bit lazier with their workouts and they’ll never to have to worry about gaining too much muscle mass. I’ve never personally witnessed a non-competitor reach a level where she decided to workout less, but it’s always certainly an option.
You can provide her with a few examples of physiques she might admire and want to shoot for. Many Hollywood actresses train with weights and resistance. If you know what you’re doing you can tailor your training to almost any type of physique you’d like.
Whatever you do, don’t force her into it. That’s the point of screening. If she doesn’t want to, you nagging her or trying to coerce her isn’t going to work in your favor. If you don’t dig her, cut her loose and move on. Even if you convince her, I can promise you it won’t be worth it. It’ll be like pulling teeth and inevitably she’ll resent you.
Know Your Place
Do not train her in person. You can start her off with a few sample workouts. You can even go with her to the gym ONCE to show her proper form in all of the exercises. You don’t want to take on the burden and the responsibility of being her trainer. If you’ve ever used a trainer, been a trainer, or better yet trained with friends you know what that type of relationship takes. A trainer needs to push the lifter they’re working with. Sometimes they yell at them, but at the very least they encourage them to push past their normal limits. With your girl you want to save that for the bedroom, not the weight room.
The pressure you put on her and all of the emotions that can get brought up when training your girl are not worth the risk. If you point her in the right direction and lead as a good example then things will take care of themselves. Or they won’t and you’ll have to move on if it’s that important to you.
Make it Stick
If you like her results and you’re proud of her you should let her know! Girls love compliments. Just make sure you tease her a little too. Nobody likes like a suck up. Pinch her ass, tell her she looks hot, objectify her a little. They’ll eat it up, just like you would if she did it to you.
The Crimson Arts
No true discussion about how to handle your girl would be complete without an honorable mention to the dark arts of seduction. The truth is, Rollo at The Rational Male and Heartiste cover this topic better than I could ever hope to. Letting your girl know that you are valuable and have options is a great way to maintain a healthy relationship. Nobody wants what nobody else wants. Use the dread that comes with her knowing you have options and let that be inspiration for her to be the best she can be.
How She Should Train
Again I’m going to farm out the responsibility of how she should actually train to a true expert (and in my opinion, artist) Bret Contreras. His clients’ results speak for themselves. If there is one exercise I can recommend that all girls should be doing it’s the Hip Thrust. This easy to master, safe exercise has probably done more to transform women’s physiques in the past few years than any other, including squats. Yes, done correctly, I believe the hip thrust will give a girl more bang for her buck than any other single exercise.
The truth is, if the above recommendations don’t get your girl in the gym, it’s probably not going to happen and you’ll make both of you miserable trying to force it. If that’s a deal breaker for you, man up and move on. If she’s the type that wants to push herself and get in great shape for the both of you then you better make sure you’re keeping up, or she’ll find someone who will. Happy lifting, gentlemen.