The Will to Power - The Man The Myth

This could decide your destiny…

Willpower is the difference between getting shit done and jerking off then falling asleep, after one more beer of course. Many people have heard about the Standford Marshmallow Test. If not, a quick recap – children were left in a room after being told that they could either enjoy the one marshmallow that sat right in front of them OR they could wait 15 minutes and receive two marshmallows. Doubling your profits in 15 min? Not a bad rate of return. These kids were then followed for decades afterward and the children that were able to delay gratification ended up being more successful in a variety of measures including SAT scores, educational attainment, BMI and other markers of success. Of course delayed gratification applies to more than just increasing your marshmallow bounty. Skipping that extra doughnut, working out instead of watching TV, holding your tongue at that meeting are all easily recognizable examples of self control, but willpower also extends to other areas as well.¹

Willpower is absolutely necessary for creating and following through with life goals, defining personal morals and values, drawing personal boundaries, building good habits and maintaining your frame with other people.² It seems that some people are just born with more willpower than others. And that may be true. To make matters worse, your willpower can be depleted throughout the day and over time by something called “ego depletion”.

Ego Depletion

Simply put, ego depletion refers to the concept of willpower being a finite resource. Acts of volition which includes making choices, taking responsibility, initiating and inhibiting behavior, and making and carrying out plans of action can only be carried out for so long before these behaviors break down or you start taking “the easy way”. Some simple examples would be it becomes harder and harder to walk by a plate full of cookies without gorging yourself the more often you do it, or junk food being much harder to resist after a stressful day. You know neither of these behaviors is good for you in the long run but after a while you’re beaten down and you make choices against your best interests.³

The good news is that you can conserve and even strengthen your willpower and resolve over time. First we will look at the most efficient ways to conserve your precious, previous willpower so that you can divert it towards more useful and profitable endeavors.

Decision Making Skills

Decision fatigue is one of the biggest sink holes for willpower. The more decisions you need to make the lower your reserve of willpower gets and the less satisfied you are with the decision you finally choose. A great example of this can be found in the supermarket. There used to be only a couple kinds of each product – now a simple stroll down the toothpaste aisle can result in having to decide between 20 or more versions of a very simple product. The dissatisfaction comes in when we feel the opportunity cost of having picked a toothpaste but we are left wondering whether it was the best toothpaste, maybe that one with the whitening crystals would work better than the baking soda one, etc. This also happens with career decisions. Many young men struggle with focusing on a specific direction in which to take their career because of the fear of picking the wrong one. Maybe eternal happiness would have been right around the corner (it’s not) if I had only picked the right job! The solution? Reduce your daily choices. Streamline areas of your life where you’re already pretty happy about the decisions you’ve made previously.⁴ Some of my favorite examples that I use personally in my life:

Do you have a specific item of clothing that you get complimented on? Find a brand and style of the staple shirt, pants, socks, underwear etc. that fits you well and is well-made for a good price. Buy that item in every color and even multiples of the same color. You will have confidence in that purchase because you already know it works for you, is part of your style and now you won’t have the mental drain of having to go shopping and decide on every detail of your mainstays in your wardrobe.
Find a drink that speaks to you. Something that you find delicious, versatile, within your budget and that helps define you as a man. I have a favorite brand of bourbon that I like to drink so I talked to my local liquor store owner, asked him if he could get me a deal on a case of that bourbon. Now I have a small storehouse of my favorite booze, always on hand, with a 40% discount on the retail price and I won’t have to decide on what I’ll be drinking at home or when I have guests because I have a respectable, tasty staple that won’t let me down.
Eat the same thing every day. Now in the interest of nutrition and because I truly believe food is one of life’s greatest pleasures, I try to mix it up as much as my time and wallet will allow but I know of many successful men⁵, personal friends included that thrive on a very simple diet. They know what they’re eating and they enjoy it. That’s one less decision you have to make every day. That large reserve of willpower can then be better used for your next goal. This same technique can be used for gaining muscle and losing fat because it eliminates many of the nutritional variables that you’d normally have to worry about.⁶

In addition to saving you time, money, and reserving willpower, chunking purchases and decisions like this can also contribute to building your sense of self.

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.

- Aristotle⁷

We build our identity through repetition. People come to know us and we come to know ourselves by things that we repeat. We are identified by the ways in which we habitually dress, where we hang out and work, our choices in food and beverage and music. All of these and many other variables contribute to the total picture that makes up our identity and sense of self. This is probably the biggest secret benefit of automating decisions in your life. It can actually help create the man you want to be. If you want to be seen as healthy and fit then your default decision could be to never eat junk food (or gluten in my case because it makes me feel and look like hell). People will come to recognize you as the guy who refuses cake at the office party which is actually a good thing. You gain respect by having convictions and sticking to them. Don’t be that guy that always talks a big game and never lives up to it. People won’t respect you and you won’t respect yourself.